Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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