I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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