well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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