My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
