My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
