well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
