You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
