What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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