Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
