is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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