I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
