i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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