real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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