wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
