if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
