I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
