is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
