I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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