I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
