Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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