Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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