WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
