Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
