I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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