Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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