He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
