Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
