Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
