I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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