Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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