I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
