drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
