i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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