Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
