I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
