he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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