Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
