That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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