My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
