I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
