seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
