i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
