Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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