4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize