This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
