Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
