one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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