Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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