why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize