I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
wow bdsm is so cute
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