dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
