You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
