Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
