Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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