oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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