I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
