This girl is more easily done than said...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
