I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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