he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
