Say something about gay babies.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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