Me. At least after what I've been through.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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