Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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