That's intense
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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