This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
