When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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