just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
