she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
