You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
