the condom got lost in my hair
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
